I don't write much about the stupid things people say to me when I'm out with the boys. Yes, I get the occasional comment like I did back at Easter, but generally speaking the things I hear are benign. However, benign does not mean not stupid. I hear the dumbest things on a daily basis. Here's a sample:
1. Are they twins?
2. Are they boys?
3. Double trouble!
4. Wow, you must be busy!
5. Which one is older?
6. How do you tell them apart?
7. Do you ever dress them alike?
8. Are they the same/Which one is friendlier/Do they have the same personality/etc.?
9. You have your hands full!
10. Better you than me!
And more. After doing a quick search online to see what questions other mom's have been asked, I think the questions/comments above are the top 10 that I hear on a very regular basis.
Generally speaking, if someone asks if Matthew and Nicholas are twins, I just smile and say yes. Actually, for a lot of the comments, I just smile and nod. Typically I don't have the time to stand around in the grocery store/Target/Costco and have an entire conversation based around one comment. Also, I like to consider myself a little bit witty (read: sarcastic) at times, and can often come up with quick one-liners, especially during movies, long sermons, lectures, etc. But I just don't seem to have the same skill when it comes to answering the questions/statements above.
So here's a quick try...
1. Are they twins? "Well, Duh!" (This phrase spoken in front of my parents when they were out with the boys for lunch. Apparently the waitress asked if the boys were twins and her friend answered with that little gem. I wish I could have witnessed that. I might have wet my pants from laughter.)
2. Are they boys? "According to the referral picture we have of them where they are naked from the waist down." (Yes, it's true. One of the pictures we received of Nicholas and Matthew shows them with shirts on and nothing else. We have edited that picture for public view.)
3. Double Trouble! "No, double the love, double the kisses, double the hugs, double the happiness." (One day I'll say this, because it runs through my head each time someone says that phrase to me.)
4. Wow, you must be busy! "Well, duh. But I'm not any busier than any other mom."
5. Which one is older? "Nicholas." (Yes, that's the answer to the question of which one is older. At least, that's the answer as best as we know it, because, hello! We weren't there for the birth!)
6. How do you tell them apart? "Matthew wears blue and Nicholas wears green." (Okay, this one is legitimate under a couple of circumstances. a) When it's a child care employee at the YMCA, church, etc. b) When you are actually going to spend time with my children and not just be a passerby in the grocery store/Target/Costco."
7. Do you ever dress them alike? To borrow a phrase from earlier, "Well, duh!" (Yes, I get asked this question when they are dressed alike. And for those wondering, it's probably 60/40 dressed alike. It's too cute not to do it!)
8. Are they the same, etc.? "It varies from week to week." (Because, really, it does.)
9. Your hands are full. "Yes, but so is heart." (I have yet to use that phrase. I'm not sure why.)
10. Better you than me! "Yes, I think so too!" (Again, haven't had much opportunity to say that either.)
Deep down, I know why people say the things they do. Really, I do. I know, because even as a mother of twins, I find myself asking the same question, "Are they twins?" when I'm out in public and see children who look like they could be twins. I know people ask the question because they are trying to strike up a conversation, or they want me to know that they are admiring my children and not stalking me/us in the store. I get it. And that's why, when I get asked the more benign questions, I just smile and answer politely, and leave the snarky comments to swirl in my head. But really, I'd much rather someone tell my that my twins are cute and wish me well.
Yes, my hands are full, but so is my heart. If only everyone could be this blessed.